ATTENTION! Was: Re: Work Work Work

Carl Payne cpayne at fiber.net
Mon Sep 9 17:23:08 UTC 1996


ATTENTION ALL WORTHLESS BEINGS!!

I am here to warn you that if you so much as THREATEN to
THINK about breathing the same air I do, I will SUE YOU.

Go ahead, take your best shot.  I don't care how important
your tasks are, I'm too clueless to deal with any abrupt and
significant change for the better of my corporate existence.
In fact, I'm going to keep backing up until I'm THIS CLOSE to
other angry people who'll SUE YOU TOO!

Go ahead, dare me!  I'll call a lawyer, I have one in fact;
my mom just passed the bar exam last Thursday.  I promise
you: it'll be bloody, messy, and horribly disgusting, but GO
AHEAD!!

I warn you: if you make me do actual work that involves
actual thinking and actual outcome analysis, then I will SUE
YOU for breach of freedom to be an idiot!

I have a lot of money.  Just in case you didn't know it, I
know buy Arch Deluxe all the time now, and have been known to
loan them out to my more unfortunate, less funded and less
educated colleagues who have, to this date, only DREAMT of a
Fillet-O-Fish, so that damn sure well means I can afford a
good attorney who can SUE YOU!

Doesn't matter if I get hurt.  Doesn't matter if I get lost
in the sea of change, doesn't even matter if it's for the
Greater Good.  All that matters is that I get my way and I'll
SUE YOU if I don't.

I'm not interested in working together with anyone, I'm not
interested in being a part of something, I'm not interested
if others have enough air to breathe and I'm SURE AS HELL not
interested in taking sides against others who'll SUE ME TOO
if I don't take their side.  I don't care.  All that matters
is that I have my way, and NOW.  Now shut up before you
REALLY piss me off.

Oh, and if you know anyone who has the recipe for Secret
Sauce, I have a job waiting for them in datacomm.


T^HCarl






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