Holiday Songs

Thu Jan 6 06:14:51 UTC 2011

thanks to all who replied, my family really enjoyed it.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "JC Dill" <jcdill.lists at gmail.com>
Cc: "NANOG list" <nanog at nanog.org>
Sent: Wednesday, December 22, 2010 3:13 AM
Subject: Re: Holiday Songs

> 
> 
> Network Working Group                                         B. Hancock
> Request for Comments: 1882       Network-1 Software and Technology, Inc.
> Category: Informational                                    December 1995
> 
>                 The 12-Days of Technology Before Christmas
> 
> Status of this Memo
> 
>     This memo provides information for the Internet community.  This memo
>     does not specify an Internet standard of any kind.  Distribution of
>     this memo is unlimited.
> 
> Discussion
> 
>     On the first day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            A database with a broken b-tree (what the hell is a b-tree
>            anyway?)
> 
>     On the second day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            Two transceiver failures (CRC errors? Collisions? What is
>            going on?)
>            And a database with a broken b-tree (Rebuild WHAT? It's a
>            10GB database!)
> 
>     On the third day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            Three French users (who, of course, think they know
>            everything)
>            Two transceiver failures (which are now spewing packets all
>            over the net)
>            And a database with a broken b-tree (Backup? What backup?)
> 
>     On the fourth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            Four calls for support (playing the same Christmas song over
>            and over)
>            Three French users (Why do they like to argue so much over
>            trivial things?)
>            Two transceiver failures (How the hell do I know which ones
>            they are?)
>            And a database with a broken b-tree (Pointer error? What's a
>            pointer error?)
> 
>     On the fifth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            Five golden SCSI contacts (Of course they're better than
>            silver!)
>            Four support calls (Ever notice how time stands still when on
>            hold?
>            Three French users (No, we don't have footpedals on PC's. Why
>            do you ask?)
>            Two transceiver failures (If I knew which ones were bad, I
>            would know which ones to fix!)
>            And a database with a broken b-tree (Not till next week? Are
>            you nuts?!?!)
> 
>     On the sixth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            Six games a-playing (On the production network, of course!)
>            Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean "not terminated!")
>            Four support calls (No, don't transfer me again - do you HEAR?
>            Damn!)
>            Three French users (No, you cannot scan in by putting the page
>            to the screen...)
>            Two transceiver failures (I can't look at the LEDs - they're
>            in the ceiling!)
>            And a database with a broken b-tree (Norway? That's where this
>            was written?)
> 
>     On the seventh day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            Seven license failures (Expired? When?)
>            Six games a-playing (Please stop tying up the PBX to talk to
>            each other!)
>            Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean I need "wide"
>            SCSI?)
>            Four support calls (At least the Muzak is different this
>            time...)
>            Three French Users (Well, monsieur, there really isn't an
>            "any" key, but...)
>            Two transceiver failures (SQE? What is that? If I knew I would
>            set it myself!)
>            And a database with a broken b-tree (No, I really need to talk
>            to Lars - NOW!)
> 
>     On the eighth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            Eight MODEMs dialing (Who bought these? They're a security
>            violation!)
>            Seven license failures (How many WEEKS to get a license?)
>            Six games a-playing (What do you mean one pixel per packet on
>            updates?!?)
>            Five golden SCSI contacts (Fast SCSI? It's supposed to be
>            fast, isn't it?)
>            Four support calls (I already told them that! Don't transfer
>            me back - DAMN!)
>            Three French users (No, CTL-ALT-DEL is not the proper way to
>            end a program)
>            Two transceiver failures (What do you mean "babbling
>            transceiver"?)
>            And a database with a broken b-tree (Does anyone speak English
>            in Oslo?)
> 
>     On the ninth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            Nine lady executives with attitude (She said do WHAT with the
>            servers?)
>            Eight MODEMs dialing (You've been downloading WHAT?)
>            Seven license failures (We sent the P.O. two months ago!)
>            Six games a-playing (HOW many people are doing this to the
>            network?)
>            Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean two have the same
>            ID?)
>            Four support calls (No, I am not at the console - I tried that
>            already.)
>            Three French users (No, only one floppy fits at a time? Why do
>            you ask?)
>            Two transceiver failures (Spare? What spare?)
>            And a database with a broken b-tree (No, I am trying to find
>            Lars!  L-A-R-S!)
> 
>     On the tenth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            Ten SNMP alerts flashing (What is that Godawful beeping?)
>            Nine lady executives with attitude (No, it used to be a mens
>            room? Why?)
>            Eight MODEMs dialing (What Internet provider? We don't allow
>            Internet here!)
>            Seven license failures (SPA? Why are they calling us?)
>            Six games a-playing (No, you don't need a graphics accelerator
>            for Lotus! )
>            Five golden SCSI contacts (You mean I need ANOTHER cable?)
>            Four support calls (No, I never needed an account number
>            before...)
>            Three French users (When the PC sounds like a cat, it's a head
>            crash!)
>            Two transceiver failures (Power connection? What power
>            connection?)
>            And a database with a broken b-tree (Restore what index
>            pointers?)
> 
>     On the eleventh day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            Eleven boards a-frying (What is that terrible smell?)
>            Ten SNMP alerts flashing (What's a MIB, anyway? What's an
>            extension?)
>            Nine lady executives with attitude (Mauve? Our computer room
>            tiles in mauve?)
>            Eight MODEMs dialing (What do you mean you let your roommate
>            dial-in?)
>            Seven license failures (How many other illegal copies do we
>            have?!?!)
>            Six games a-playing (I told you - AFTER HOURS!)
>            Five golden SCSI contacts (If I knew what was wrong, I
>            wouldn't be calling!)
>            Four support calls (Put me on hold again and I will slash your
>            credit rating!)
>            Three French users (Don't hang your floppies with a magnet
>            again!)
>            Two transceiver failures (How should I know if the connector
>            is bad?)
>            And a database with a broken b-tree (I already did all of
>            that!)
> 
>     On the twelfth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
>            Twelve virtual pipe connections (There's only supposed to be
>            two!)
>            Eleven boards a-frying (What a surge suppressor supposed to
>            do, anyway?)
>            Ten SNMP alerts flashing (From a distance, it does kinda look
>            like XMas lights.)
>            Nine lady executives with attitude (What do you mean aerobics
>            before backups?)
>            Eight MODEMs dialing (No, we never use them to connect during
>            business hours.)
>            Seven license failures (We're all going to jail, I just know
>            it.)
>            Six games a-playing (No, no - my turn, my turn!)
>            Five golden SCSI contacts (Great, just great! Now it won't
>            even boot!)
>            Four support calls (I don't have that package! How did I end
>            up with you!)
>            Three French users (I don't care if it is sexy, no more nude
>            screen backgrounds!)
>            Two transceiver failures (Maybe we should switch to token
>            ring...)
>            And a database with a broken b-tree (No, operator - Oslo,
>            Norway.  We were just talking and were cut off...)
> 
> Security Considerations
> 
>     Security issues are not discussed in this memo.
> 
> Author's Address
> 
>     Bill Hancock, Ph.D.
>     Network-1 Software&  Technology, Inc.
>     DFW Research Center
>     878 Greenview Dr.
>     Grand Prairie, TX  75050
> 
>     EMail:hancock at network-1.com  <mailto:hancock at network-1.com>
>     Phone: (214) 606-8200
> 
>     Fax: (214) 606-8220
> 
> From:
> http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc1882.html
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 